Postnatal depression — it's not what you expected.
Sometimes it's not sadness, it's nothing. Sometimes it's not crying, it's rage. Sometimes you can do all the things — feed the baby, kiss your partner, smile at the postman — and feel like you're watching it happen from somewhere else.
Often, not what the pamphlet shows.
The pamphlet version of PND is a woman crying. The actual versions, in my consulting room, are more varied than that. Numbness — "I love my baby and I feel nothing." Rage — out of nowhere, frightening, immediately followed by shame. A flatness that you compensate for by doing every task perfectly so no one suspects. A fog that doesn't lift even on the days the baby sleeps. A quiet, ambient sense that you've made a terrible mistake.
"I love my baby but I feel nothing" is one of the most googled sentences in this territory. It's also one of the hardest to say out loud. You can say it here.
"Everyone else seems to manage. What's wrong with me?"
Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you. The reason everyone else seems to be managing is that everyone else is also performing. Most mothers' groups are held together by performance. The woman across the room who looks composed is probably googling "do I have postnatal depression" in the bathroom.
You're not weak for finding this hard. You're not ungrateful. You're not the only one. PND affects roughly 1 in 7 mothers in Australia (and PNA — postnatal anxiety — is even more common). It is not a character flaw. It is a treatable condition. The first step is naming it.
Alongside PANDA, Gidget, and your GP.
The free services are extraordinary. The PANDA helpline (1300 726 306) is staffed by perinatal mental health counsellors and is genuinely incredible — please use it, especially in crisis moments. The Gidget Foundation runs group programs and offers free or low-cost individual psychology in some cases. Your GP can write a Mental Health Care Plan for Medicare-rebatable psychology. All of this is good. All of it has waitlists.
What I offer is something different. Private, ongoing, one-on-one counselling with the same person every session. A relationship, not a service. No starting from scratch each time. Sessions on Mondays and Tuesdays, $150, GST-free.
I've also worked alongside families through Red Nose, which means I know the territory where loss and depression overlap. If your PND is wound up with a pregnancy loss, an infant loss, or a birth that broke you — I won't flinch.
- Sessions50 minutes, online via Google Meet.
- Cost$150 AUD, GST-free under ATO health service guidelines.
- Free introA 15-minute call before booking, on me.
- CadenceMost clients start weekly, then ease to fortnightly.
- HoursMondays and Tuesdays, 9am – 5pm AEST.
- MedicareCounsellors aren't covered by Medicare. Some private health insurers (Bupa, Medibank, HCF) offer rebates under extras cover.
- QualificationsACA Registered Counsellor (Member #2243) · Diploma of Counselling (AIPC) · Master of Counselling (in progress) · Red Nose trained.
Things people ask about postnatal depression.
How do I know if I have postnatal depression?
PND can look like any of: feeling flat, numb, or empty for weeks; crying you can't explain or can't access at all; not enjoying things you used to; struggling to bond with the baby and feeling guilty about it; feeling like you've made a terrible mistake; trouble sleeping even when the baby is sleeping; feeling angry, hopeless, or like a failure as a mother. You don't have to tick every box. If you feel different from yourself in a way that hasn't lifted, talk to your GP, talk to PANDA, or talk to me. The Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (a screening questionnaire your GP can offer) is also a useful starting point if you want one.
What's the difference between baby blues and PND?
Baby blues happen in the first two weeks postnatal — tearfulness, mood swings, feeling overwhelmed. They're caused by the hormonal cliff after birth and they pass on their own. PND is different: it lasts longer than two weeks, it's heavier, and it doesn't lift on its own. If you're past the first fortnight and you still feel like something is wrong, that's worth taking seriously.
My partner thinks I have PND but I'm not sure
Partners often see it before we do. They notice we're not laughing the way we used to, or that we're crying in the kitchen at midnight, or that we've stopped texting our friends back. If someone who knows you is gently telling you they're worried, that's worth listening to. You don't have to agree with them — you can come to a session and we can figure it out together. Even if it turns out you don't have PND, you'll get something useful out of saying the rest of it out loud.
Can I see a counsellor while taking antidepressants?
Yes. Many women do, and the combination is often more effective than either alone. I won't comment on your prescription — that's between you and your GP or psychiatrist. What I'll do is the conversational, relational work that medication can't do on its own.
How long does postnatal depression last?
It varies. With support, most women feel meaningfully different within a few months. Without support, PND can stretch into a year or longer — sometimes much longer, especially when it goes undiagnosed. The earlier you reach out, the easier it is. But there's no expiry date. If your baby is two and you've never named what happened in that first year, it's not too late.
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