Nobody told me birth could leave marks like this.
Birth trauma isn't only the births that 'went wrong.' Sometimes it's the ones that looked fine on paper. Australia is finally starting to admit it.
Eight minute read
Who I work with · Birth trauma
Birth trauma — when the birth doesn't go the way you needed it to.
It doesn't have to look catastrophic on paper to count. Maybe nothing went "wrong" by the medical notes. Maybe you and the baby came home healthy. And still, your body remembers something else. Still, you flinch when someone asks how it went.
What counts as birth trauma
More than the obvious medical events.
Yes, emergency caesareans, instrumental deliveries, severe complications, NICU stays — all of those can be traumatic. But that list isn't the whole list. Birth trauma is also: feeling ignored or dismissed by medical staff. Decisions being made about your body without consent or explanation. Being given seconds to choose, while contracting. Being separated from the baby and not knowing why. Bleeding more than you were told you would. Pain that wasn't acknowledged. Watching your partner go through their own version of fear.
And — as much as I want to honour the women whose births "looked fine on paper" — feeling, the whole way through, that you were not a person, just a body the room was working on. That's enough on its own to leave a mark. Plenty of women carry that particular kind of trauma silently, because they think they're not allowed to call it trauma.
You're allowed.
The bigger context
Australia is starting to name this.
The NSW Birth Trauma Inquiry, the work of the Australasian Birth Trauma Association, and the steady rise of women speaking publicly about their experiences have moved birth trauma out of the corner where it used to sit. We are slowly, collectively, beginning to admit that births in this country can be done to women rather than with them — and that the cost of that is real.
You are not making this up. You are not being dramatic. You are not failing to "move on." If the birth left a mark, that mark is real, and you don't have to keep carrying it without help.
How I work
Slowly, gently, at your pace.
You are not going to be made to relive the birth before you're ready. I don't push for the story. We start where it's safe, and we go where you want to go when you want to go there. Some sessions we won't talk about the birth at all. Some sessions we will, and we'll go in five-minute increments and stop when your body says to stop.
Birth trauma work isn't about producing a tidier version of the story. It's about giving the body permission to put down what it's still carrying. Sometimes that looks like tears. Sometimes like rage. Sometimes like a long, slow, quiet loosening you didn't know was possible.
I bring my work with Red Nose into this room. I'm used to sitting with the kind of grief and trauma that doesn't have an easy place to go. I'm not going to flinch at any version of your story.
Practical bits
- Sessions50 minutes, online via Google Meet.
- Cost$150 AUD, GST-free under ATO health service guidelines.
- Free introA 15-minute call before booking, on me.
- CadenceMost clients start weekly, then ease to fortnightly.
- HoursMondays and Tuesdays, 9am – 5pm AEST.
- MedicareCounsellors aren't covered by Medicare. Some private health insurers (Bupa, Medibank, HCF) offer rebates under extras cover.
- QualificationsACA Registered Counsellor (Member #2243) · Diploma of Counselling (AIPC) · Master of Counselling (in progress) · Red Nose trained.
Reasonable questions
Things people ask about birth trauma.
What is birth trauma?
Birth trauma isn't defined by the medical events of the birth — it's defined by how those events were experienced in your nervous system. It can include emergency caesareans, instrumental deliveries, severe blood loss, the baby in NICU, severe tearing or injury, separation from the baby, or feeling unheard, unsafe, or out of control during the birth. It can also include births that looked entirely fine on paper. If your body remembers something that doesn't match what the medical notes say, that counts.
My birth was 'normal' but I still feel traumatised — is that valid?
Yes. Absolutely yes. Some of the most haunted women I've sat with had what the hospital would call straightforward, low-intervention births — and were spoken to in ways that left a mark, or felt invisible during a procedure, or were given decisions to make in seconds while contracting, or were told afterwards "but you and the baby are healthy" as if that should be enough. It isn't enough. The validity of your experience is not decided by the medical chart.
Can birth trauma affect bonding with my baby?
It can. Sometimes the trauma response makes it harder to feel close to the baby — your nervous system associates the baby with the worst day of your life, even though you know intellectually that the baby is not the cause. Sometimes it goes the other way and you become hypervigilant about the baby because part of you doesn't trust the world to keep them safe. Either way, this isn't a failure of love. It's a feature of trauma. And it's usually very responsive to support.
How long after birth can I seek help for birth trauma?
There is no expiry date. I sit with women whose births happened twenty years ago. The trauma doesn't necessarily get smaller on its own — it just gets stored more deeply. If your baby is six weeks old or sixteen years old, the work is the same: bringing the experience out of the body's silence, slowly, with someone who won't ask you to minimise it.
Is birth trauma the same as PTSD?
Sometimes. Birth-related PTSD is a specific clinical diagnosis, and you'd typically need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist for that. Many women have meaningful birth trauma without meeting the full clinical PTSD criteria — and they still deserve support. I'm a counsellor, not a diagnostician, and I work with the experience as you bring it, regardless of whether it has a clinical label.
From the journal
On birth trauma.
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