Notes from Elisa

Thoughts on counselling, motherhood, and everything in between.

You don't have to have the words yet.

FilterPerinatal Postnatal anxiety Birth trauma Matrescence Motherhood & identity Grief & loss

Notes from Elisa

The things I wish someone had said to me in that waiting room.

I went in for what I thought would be a scan on my birthday. The room got very quiet. This piece isn't advice. It's witness.

Six minute read21 April

Notes from Elisa

Nobody told me birth could leave marks like this.

Birth trauma isn't only the births that 'went wrong.' Sometimes it's the ones that looked fine on paper. Australia is finally starting to admit it.

Eight minute read7 April

Notes from Elisa

The thing about 3am — postnatal anxiety and the thoughts that won't quit.

I see you. You're awake. The baby is asleep, finally, and your brain has decided this is the time. I want to say a few things to you while we're here.

Six minute read17 March

Notes from Elisa

It isn't ingratitude — on the grief that comes with good news.

Some pregnancies arrive after years of waiting and still bring a sadness nobody warned you about. This is for the women who can't say it out loud.

Seven minute read24 February

Notes from Elisa

The slow grief inside good news.

There's a particular sadness that arrives uninvited at the door of something you've wanted for a long time. It isn't ingratitude. It's much more interesting than that.

Six minute read3 February

Notes from Elisa

You used to know who you were — identity after becoming a mum.

The mental load is one thing. The much harder thing is that you don't recognise the woman doing the carrying anymore. This is for the women who feel like they've gone missing.

Eight minute read13 January

Notes from Elisa

What is matrescence? The word I wish someone had told me sooner.

There's a word for the way motherhood undoes and remakes you. It's called matrescence. Almost nobody is told what it means until they're already in the middle of it.

Seven minute read23 December